Sorry I didn't post last night. I did take a photo yesterday, but I don't want to post it. It was a snapshot of some students and I'm not sure I have all of their permission to publish it on the web.
Anyway, Here's today's post. Lately, and for no apparent reason other than normal stress, the panic attacks have returned with a vengeance. I had been doing relatively well controlling it. I'll get it back in check eventually. I hope. I have to. I can't keep missing work, like I did today. When things are like this I am dysfunctional, despite reason and meds. Every thing seems amplified, both literally with my hearing and figuratively with little things becoming huge issues in my head. I cannot concentrate, I feel like shit physically, and guilt and embarrassment flow like water. At least now, I know what it is and that it will pass. I have coping strategies and meditations (and medication, too) that help. I have previous successes and attack free periods to build on and give myself confidence. I haven't gone into "the cave" or been "stuck" in my house for quite some time. So, I'm still making progress and this just a relatively minor battle. Don't get me wrong, It sucks. It interrupts my life and very few people really understand it. I get really tired of dealing with this and feeling like a freak, but considering where I was and where I am now with it, this still isn't the worst series of attacks I've had.